I imagine that the reasons for not posting this sooner are much the same reasons that this songs makes so much sense. Of all the songs I have heard this one hits home the hardest. I must have started writing about it every day for the past six months and been unable to do it.
So today, the day after yet another family birthday party without her, and the week before her own birthday, i choose to share with you my daily struggle. I admit to you all, that no, I am not ok. I miss her everyday and everyday i pretend to be ok. I have come to realize that that is the only way to get out of bed. But it also happens to be eating me alive so here it is. I'm posting the lyrics because they are so absolutley, profoundly, amazingly spot on that my words can't express it any better.
You may think
I’m just fine
How could anything
Ever be out of line?
I take my time
To set the stage
To make sure everything
Is all in place
Even though I’ve got the lines rehearsed
A picture only paints a thousand words
Things aren’t always what they seem
You’re only seeing part of me
There’s more than you could ever know
Behind the scenes
I’m incomplete and I’m undone
But I suppose like everyone
There’s so much more that’s going on
Behind the scenes
Sometimes I can’t see
Anything
THROUGH THE DARK
SURROUNDING ME
And at times I’m unsure
About the ground
Beneath my feet
If it’s safe and sound
When it’s hard to find hope in the unseen
I have peace in knowing it will find me
You may think I’m just fine
...How could anything ever be out of line?
