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Saturday afternoon before leaving for work I watched the series finale of Friends. It marked the end of what had been nearly four months of watching from the pilot to the end.

My mom bought Chad the complete dvd set last year for Christmas. This year I asked him to bring it home on Thanksgiving so I could enjoy our favorite show. He agreed.

When he came home for thanksgiving, we knew my mom was sick. Cancer had not been diagnosed but mixed emotions of fear and hope lingered over the household. We did our best to keep the mood light.

I remember one night as Chad and I sat on our mothers bed he pretended to be offended by something I said, got off the bed and ran into my room and stole his set back. He took it into his room with laughter and taunts and hid it from me. We continued back in moms room and had her mediate our problem. Although short of breath, she cracked up at us at the same time she told us to shut up.

It is minutes like those that I’ll never have again.

I got the set back thanksgiving night. My mom had barely made it to dinner. She had told us to go along and she’d be there shortly. She came right before dinner. As she walked up the hill, completely out of breath, my uncle went to help is sister in. He knew. He wasn’t supposed to know but her knew. I sat with my mom on the couch that night while I first designed the new “hope’ logo. We sat together all night barely saying much just saying enough.

Every bone in my body believes she knew she was at her very last thanksgiving.
I knew this for the first time on Thanksgiving.

That night, I put in disk one of friends.

I can tell you which episode I watched when I found out it was cancer, when I found out it was stage four, when we had to bring her to the hospital, the day they told us she was dying. After that I stopped for awhile, but then I can tell you the episodes that were one while I was making my video, while I was ordering hope sweatshirts and I can tell you almost all the episodes I cried to.

The show will forever be a timeline guiding me through the worst time in my life. So much has changed since I first inserted the disk. EVERYTHING has changed. I text Chad when I finished - and he said that exact thing. Who would have thought life (death) would bring us here? Who knew we could be here? Here in this land of emptiness, confusion and anger. We never knew we could hurt like this. This place we’re in at the end of this series is so on the opposite and of where I was when I started it. But although I started it alone I ended it with many.
I can tell you all the times Chad and I text about chandler. I can tell you that during its time on my tv it was watched by me, Chad, Derek, Kyle, Dustin, Frankie, Dom, Mook, Brittany, Gina, Michelle, Jessica, Courtney and Ana Rose while she napped.


All I can say is thank you to “FRIENDS” who truly made me laugh.

Below is Chad’s favorite scene. “Pivot, Pivot, Pivot”